For the past five years I’ve been working in the skilled trades as a millwright apprentice. During this time I’ve been employed in factories and machine shops as a maintenance mechanic or mechanical assembly technician. I was even employed by Tesla for a 2 years. This career path offered more money and benefits than my freelance writing career ever did, but it was never meant to last. As hard as I tried, it just wasn’t for me.

Over the past year, things did not gone well with my career in the trades. I was fired from three jobs in a row, struggled with substance abuse, and went through therapy. All the feedback I ever received about my job performance was negative, and I never felt like I was really any good at it. Every day I walked into work feeling like an imposter, and I discovered that I’m very different from the average mechanic.

For example, I have a read a lot of books in my day and have a bookshelf stacked full of titles from many different genres ranging from fantasy to philosophy. None of the tradespeople I met in my five years read anything at all. In fact, one mechanic I became close with even said to me once, “If you like to read there is something wrong with you.” Imagine that! At that moment it was clear to me that I did not fit in with this industry. I don’t have a mechanical brain. I have a creative brain. I found it difficult to wrap my head around mechanical problems and concepts, and it seemed that I just didn’t have the right skillset to excel at the job.

But it wasn’t all for nothing. Not at all! My experience in the trades provided me enough income to buy a car, and to start learning about wilderness survival and backcountry camping. These are things that I’ve wanted to do for years but didn’t have the financial means to do so. Now I have all the gear I need to go camping, I have a vehicle to get there, and I have the knowledge to go on trips solo. I’ve discovered that solo backcountry camping is one of my favorite things to do, and it’s something that I will continue to do as long as I’m physically able. I have even written about some of my most memorable solo journeys on Medium, complete with photography. I look forward to continuing this and one day publishing a book about my wilderness journeys. The time I spend in nature is profound and special, and I hope to share that experience with everyone else.

I always knew that I would eventually come back to writing. Now I’m at that point. Two years ago I started writing a mystery/suspense novel inspired by Twin Peaks, True Detective season 1, and The X Files monster-of-the-week episodes, but set in Canada. I got about 28k words in, but then lost momentum and it sat on my computer for a long time untouched. Now that I’m done with working in the trades, I’m pouring myself into this work 100% and forging ahead. As of this moment, the manuscript is sitting at 62k words and going strong. I have the full story envisioned, all I need is to do the work of writing it and doing the necessary research.

I’m also working on getting my poetry chapbook, Wild Dogs of Mexico, published. It’s about my 2015 solo trip to Mexico, and it has been sitting on my computer untouched for 8 years. I put my heart and soul into that work and I feel that it’s some of the best stuff I have ever written.

So it’s time for me to stop pretending at being something I’m not. I’m not a mechanic. I’m a writer. That’s what I have always been. I’ve spent so much time and effort in my life studying and honing the craft of writing. To think that I could ever do anything else with my life is foolish. I know it will be difficult to truly make a living as a novelist, poet, and journalist, but I’m prepared to make what sacrifices are necessary. I accept this as my one true path, and I walk this path with confidence.

I’m back!